Leaving university is a dream for many girls, especially around the third year. It’s like once you get there, you just can’t wait to be done and move on with life. Of course, your imagination is feeding you with all these perfections and telling you it is all going to be ok and smooth. When the university does eventually end, that’s when reality hits! It’s no bed of roses. Its humps, bumps, climbs, slopes, falls, generally, it is everything your imagination never fed you on.

Yes, it is hard for men, we all know, they need to make it and make it soon or else be doomed. Less thought of, is the burden that befalls the women. Society may sometimes think that women have no pressure to make it as much as the men do, but trust me, in our own various capacities, we do have the pressures too. For some women, to have made it is to have a really good man and be able to settle down right after campus ends. Plan your graduation party as you plan that ‘kukyala’ too. For others, finding that really good job and being able to rent in an ideal location while driving a nice car is ‘it’. There are pressures coming from all angles of life; social pressure, pressure from personal goals and aspirations, pressure from friends, parents, and relatives, it is all in there.

Let us take an example of the African Societal setting in which most of us are living. Most girls are not allowed to move out of their parents’ homes unless they are getting married and officially moving in with their now husbands. Living with parents comes with the obvious; like curfew and rules. In some cases, the parents are at the same time asking you for your man. And then one wonders if you live a life of home to work and from work to home, how and when will one have the chance to meet this man that they are asking for. The common results of this are when the girl succumbs to the pressure and marries the first man to ask her out, even when he does not meet any of the criteria she hoped her husband would have. Sadly, this girl has skipped a chance to move on and experience independence. All she knows is to depend on people, from depending on her parents and directly into a life of depending on her husband.

Then the job search! Many of us girls have had our fair share of this. The ‘what more can you offer?’ question looms large, especially for the young job hunters. The horrifying things girls are pressured to do, all in the name of ‘what more can you offer?’  still spins my head around. You enter for a job interview, possessing all the required qualifications and even go ahead to ace whatever tests there may be. Having been vetted and chosen, you are then asked the same annoying looming question, in some lucky circumstances, this is merely professional. But in other, your boss expects a sexual encounter to have you on board. Sad!!

As your so-called girlfriends head out to the ‘lit’ places to hang out, take selfies, trash talk and discuss their previous trip to Dubai. You are drawn towards hoping for such a life, you slowly start to contemplate doing whatever it takes for you to get there with hopes it will make you feel better about your miserable life.

Unfortunately, at this time, you won’t realize what’s at stake is grander than the life they want to live. Come on, we all know many guys do get sugar mummies, but this is less likely compared to the sugar daddies out to devour the girls seeking an easy ‘better’ life. There are those moments you find a slay queen walking around with a grandpa tailing her and you are clueless whether to be understanding or to criticize.

But ladies, this is the time where you either ruin or build yourself. Every step or decision you take is very important because it affects your future: near or far. If you ask me, it’s honestly better to think long-term over short-term, plan and execute, remember to learn from mistakes; yours or another’s.  Most importantly, do not at any one time try to bite the hand that feeds you.

Story by Anonymous Contributor

Every Friday, we share and talk about depression among young people! Share your story with us via [email protected]